been two days of fact ...." "I can not sleep, just close my eyes I am overwhelmed by the muffled sound of the shot, the newspapers still no trace of'.... to anything .... My Eva decided that it is better to get away for a while 'we packed up in haste and now we are on the bus to the train ..... I do not remember what our goal, she told me, but not listened to .... I heard only the distant sound of gunfire. Before leaving my cat with a worried look I took her face in her hands and told me to stay calm, still nothing happened ..... That may be true, but my nothing is filled by that phrase .... the last written by the man.
"Gabriel smiled again, but the smile is cracked."
again Gabriel. The circle closes, and my thoughts go back to their origin.
The couple in front of me is off the bus, I see a nun. Normally I would look away, but not now. I can not help but observe his features relaxed, freed from guilt, almost free from the oppression of their actions ... the I envy that. I wonder if there really is no God to answer for their actions.
Absurd.
Unthinkable. I feel
canceled, I have the temptation to bring your knees to your chest and hiding his face ... already: a fetal position, but I can not get back to basics.
My innocence is lost, and if it finds her, her innocence would be irretrievably lost.
... Or maybe not?
Yet it is inconceivable that it can be ... if when I killed that person I was absolutely indifferent, now ... now that if I could give my life to make his potergli ... now I hate to have him killed for asking me to do it, because now I am crushed by myself ... candor that can be in this hatred?
attention back to the nun, the features are always soft, almost seraphic smile, but ... there is something different than before I had not noticed.
There is a kind of imperfection, of cracks in its most brazen aura of holiness ... I could not describe it ...
And if I were to project on her quell'imperfezione that is only mine? Perhaps out of envy, or because they feel that otherwise I could not even support his view?
No, I read the same shade in the gentleman who fumbles awkwardly with the newspaper careful not to lose balance in my "Eve" and also that other Gabriel, what fell from the bus, I recognize as characteristic of their being.
possible that this is the shadow of human weakness that is projected on the corners of our faces, our gestures ... of our words?
And the nun, the holy myrrh "(as I have always considered profanely), her daughter and spouse of God, sin, yet claimed by his" holiness "is still palpable.
I am reminded of the words of my mother ... can not be, I keep banging my face against the fragile texture of memories ... broken chipped memories ... and sharp splinters are pierced. I look again
the soror plump and ruddy-faced .... only now I realize that it seems fake .... plastic .... its thin film was torn and his calmness is monstrous because I now I realize it's only a priori self-persuasion of being right ... the meaning of his actions is drowned in the din of the triumphal march of a presumed single unshakeable truth. The disregard for their actions makes serene think only with a meter that is not his to relax, everything is reduced to a simple pattern that can not hear themselves and behind the mask from his face sleeping sister is dumb.
No, not hiding myself that I will have an answer .... rather than bear the responsibilities will make me more honest with my self. What nonsense
ruining his life with his own hands! I just have to stay quiet so the police will never find me. This sentence pronounced in the mind of a murderess should be accompanied by a feeling of relief, but ...
... it seems to me only to wear the same cloak of hypocrisy that I have never accepted.
So in reality it is clear what I should do ... I do not want to choke me forget what I did, I have to deal with it.
... So maybe I should be ....
Suddenly the roar of the city is silent, the world around me disappears roars like a bubble bursting.
There is only the secular moralistic voice of my conscience. All around
: ........ ....... ...... ...... Silence.
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